Day 1, Day 2

When a patient undergoes transplant, the day of transplant is Day 0. Counting the days forward keeps everyone on track as far as the treatment plan. Each patient is different and there are always deviations. On the other hand, we are much more alike than we probably want to admit. Our bodies and our spirits behave in largely predictable ways.

We are in Day 2 of life without JoAnne's physical presence among us. We are floating on a remarkable river of support that has come our way from those who care deeply about JoJo and her family. Having been through the loss of loved ones in the past, the endorphins and adrenaline kicked in and carried me through. Then I crash. In life with JoJo, we have been on the edge of death a few times. A prevailing thought that would haunt me during those stressful times was, "I am so tired and distressed. How will I ever make it through 4 or 5 days of planning, grieving and emotional conversations with friends and family?"

This time it finally happened. She died. And yes. We are all very tired and deeply, deeply saddened. The kids have been helpful and are in agreement that circling the wagons and staying small is our best choice for now. JoJo will be cremated this morning and tomorrow we will have a small, private family service to bring us to the first steps forward.

On Saturday, July 14, we will have a service and a gathering to celebrate the life of JoJo. For now, it is only a date, but you can book it. We are leaning towards an evening gathering and tossing around a few ideas, but need to get through tomorrow before we get serious.

The internet, blogging and Facebook are often the target of jokes, but no one can question the value they bring to our lives. Before Al Gore invented the internet :-), it was snail mail and land lines. As enjoyable as conversing with friends and family can be, calling dozens of people to update them on health issues or a death is physically and emotionally overwhelming. It is still taxing, but my experience with the blog, Facebook, email and texting during the last many months has been of a religious scale. It has brought train loads of positive energy to our lives during these tough times. I am a fellow who needs his alone time to recharge. But today, for example, I woke up really depressed. If I can just make it out of bed and bump into someone, maybe I can get on track. It worked. I found the kids, read some messages and it has become a beautiful day.

We are getting so many offers of help and assistance. I am notorious for my extensive To Do List and am half tempted to post it on Google Docs and let everybody have a shot at it. We would get caught up with everything in our lives right quick. But sincerely, all of you are providing exactly what we need by just being there and sending messages of support. It is one thing to have an annoying smart phone that beeps and vibrates constantly at work. It is something else again to be in strife and frequently the target of messages filled with love, hope and prayer. Every time I have checked my phone in the last several days, there has been an uplifting message. They have buoyed me as I shared them all with JoAnne and family. JoAnne found the blog to be a source of inspiration and through it, she may have better understood just how loved she was. The response and number of viewers on the blog absolutely humbles us.

That is too many words to simply say thank you. Whether a short message or longer, frequent or infrequent, you are heard. You make a difference. Please, never forget that for the times when you may encounter life events like this in your future. Among things I have learned is that in times like this, people want to do something that will help make sense of and deal with the helplessness we all feel. It may not seem like a lot, but just being there in the way you have is more valuable than you may know.

I will get back on later with some more thoughts and a few pics. Thanks for listening.

Keep the faith