Off the Streets and Out of Trouble

2013! I'm not really sure what to think about it. '12 pretty much kicked my butt. Like my daughter Heather says, we just want to put it in the rear view mirror and hope for better days. Yes, we've experienced loss, but for all the trials and tribulations, the part I can't get out of my head is all of the warm hearted support from family and friends.

In truth, the latter half of '12 has been about healing, grieving and putting our lives back together. It's happening. It is much better. The resilience of the human spirit and God's grace are visible in abundance among us. I'll share some of our experience at a later time. My 2013 resolution is to venture forth with grace and Yes on my face; be gentle, humble of heart and unselfish. Plus the usual lose weight, simplify my life and blah, blah, blah! For now, I just want to get out a New Year's update. Times have been busy. Plus I am a world class procrastinator.

We last communicated at the end of October. On November 3rd, my youngest son Wade married Sarah Pfingsten. She is now Sarah Petersen. I once had a niece named Sarah Petersen, but she married Darren and became Sarah Olson. One just doesn't normally think about how confusing this can be until it happens to you. I am adjusting. The wedding was beautiful and memorable with a few sad moments over missing loved ones. I will post pictures in the coming days.

In meeting with my guru, I was warned that the holidays might bring some emotionally difficult moments. They did. But in the greater light, this Christmas will be remembered for the joyful experience it is intended to be. Our house was aglitter with all things yuletide. I watched with interest and satisfaction as the kids stepped out of JoAnne's shadow and took over decorating the house. Heather and Adam convened their annual Christmas dinner for 15 friends on the 15th to start the ball rolling. We spent Christmas Eve with my cousin Karl and my mother's side of the family. That Eve gathering has gone on for as long as I have been alive. It defines the word tradition. And we convened on the Day at Arcadia for aebleskivers and Swedish Sausage. Alison & Ryan were unable to be with us as they were scootin' around Key West all lathered up in SPF 50. Good on them! They made too many tough trips back home this summer. We Facetimed! Just like all being together!

I played Santa Claus twice this year. Years ago, my Dad started dressing up in the full Santa garb for the grandkids. I can't remember all the details, but somehow the responsibility or right fell to me. Playing the role of Santa is not as easy as it looks, but I like to think I am growing into the role, if not spiritually at least physically. This year I started out with a surprise visit to girlfriend Miriam's house where she was entertaining family with grandkids. I have got to figure out how to manage the glasses and vision thing. With cold weather and the beard, my glasses fog up. When I take them off, I can't see a lick. Blind Santa! We still had fun and the kids were in awe! I made an encore appearance at Karl & Diane's. The visit includes 6 year old grandson Torben who is my barometer. If I can fake him out, my efforts are considered a success. In my first year at his age 3, he immediately recognized me because of my glasses. At 4 and 5 he bought it, and at 6, I think he is playing me. He probably knows but just doesn't want to out Grandpa and disappoint us all.

The blog would not be complete without some health related issues. In October I visited my doc for an annual physical which I rarely do annually. This time I did with a couple of days to spare. My PSA came back slightly elevated. Watch and wait or see the urologist? Given my proclivity towards the possibilities, I chose the urologist where he subjected me to a memorable biopsy experience. The short story is that there was some microscopic evidence of cancer cells in my prostate. On January 16th I will undergo minimally invasive robotic surgery to separate me from said prostate.

There are better ways to start out the new year, but I am not overly concerned. The doctors have assured me there is very little chance that the cancer has spread given how early this was detected. Robotic surgery is far less traumatic and much more precise. The recovery from surgery is 2 weeks or less. There are some undesirable side effects that can occur when you remodel the plumbing, but the robot has led to major improvements in that regard. Surgery will give me something to blog about. 

There is controversy over the need or value of the PSA test for identifying prostate cancers. It can lead to unnecessary treatment or anxiety in many men. I will talk about that in later posts. As my doctor said, you are the perfect example of why the test is valuable. I could have gone a number of years without any physical evidence of cancer, but once it showed up, treatment would be difficult. Surgical removal at this point in my life represents a cure.

On the topic of blogging subjects, I could entertain you with all the details of my dating experience. But then I would no longer have a date :-) I met Miriam via Match.com. She has been exposed to the blog and my Facebook page......and is understandably wary of what I might post. I tend to be more......shall we say......open about my life than she is at this point. It is hard enough dating a widower much less all of his friends and family. Fair point! I can respect that.

But I have to tell you a little bit about her. She is older than my daughters. That was one of their requirements :-). She is a physical therapist assistant, which will come in handy as I age. We are already working through some tendinitis issues. Her family consists of a daughter and two sons who are all married; 4 young grandkids. Two of the families are local and the other resides north of Shanghai in China. Miriam is headed off to visit them and their 3 month old daughter in a couple of weeks. 

A native of Fergus Falls, MN, she is 100% Norwegian and grew up in a family with 4 brothers. That makes her either very resilient and flexible or a princess. I'm still trying to figure out which. Maybe a little bit of each :-) Her marriage of 30 years sadly ended in divorce a few years ago although I'm not really that sad about it. I can empathize for her and the kids however. So we have both suffered loss and are dealing with it. One thing I have learned is that in many ways, it can be more of a struggle coming to terms with divorce than death of a spouse. Her strength, courage and persistence are qualities I greatly admire.

This all came up rather quickly. I was reading an advice columnist recently who said that dating a widower in the first year is a recipe for trouble. Even my guru warns me that I may be in a heightened state of vulnerability and trying to fill a void in my life. Yeah. I get it. We've both asked ourselves the same questions. I just don't see it. And as each day goes by, I see it even less. Said best by Bob Dylan, she's a God-fearing woman I can easily afford.  

Truth be told, we are confident and have high hopes for our future together. Both of us deserve some joy in our lives and in many ways, have earned the right to it. We each feel blessed to have someone with whom we can share this next phase of our lives. I look forward to sharing more of our experiences with you. 

And the Beast goes on.